this email has always bugged me, because it’s making fun of the obviousness of the warnings on the package, and then the originator of the email felt the need to point out why they were stupid. as if it weren’t obvious.
-----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, May 25, 2004 9:09 AM
Subject: Read the Label
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through
stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Damn, and that's the only
time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details
inside. (the shoplifter special?)
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would
be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost.(but, it's
"just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside
down.(well...duh, a bit late, huh!)
On Marks Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating.(...and
you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body.(but wouldn't
this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery
after taking this medication.(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off
those forklifts.) On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness.(and...I'm
taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only(as
opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts.(talk about a news flash
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you
to fly.(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or (Oh
my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)